A Life of Lies

Fear mutes the truth
And transforms me.
I dissolve the mortar of trust
With unsuspecting friends.
And to feed my unending wants,
I spew nauseating flattery.
I evade embarrassment secretly,
I sigh deeply, and turn the corner
Only to be stunned by redoubled shame.
And fiercely possessed
By the habit of cowardice,
I forge forth undeterred.
I say what I want them to hear,
But strangely,
They hear only what I say not.
I turn deaf to the thundering truth
That never will I be,
What I am not.